Flash Fiction Challenge: “Choose Your Random Sentence”

Posted: March 10, 2013 in Fiction, Flash Fiction Challenge
Tags: ,

This week’s challenge involved using a “random sentence generator” that looks like it was coded by a crack-addled monkey with only the barest understanding of how the English language works. But, after about a dozen tries at getting a random sentence that approached something resembling coherence, I received “a truth runs underneath an insult.”

And so, I present to you, “A Truth”:

Edit: This story has been removed – look for it collected with more of my work in ebook format! 🙂

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Comments
  1. I was rooting for Ronnie to deck Dave, but I am glad he kept his temper and proved that was better than that. Nice.
    (Sorry if I’ve commented twice. I left the browser open this morning and can’t remember.)

  2. I like that this story doesn’t go the violent route — that would be too common and cheap. I also appreciate the way that you weave in the backstory on Ronnie’s prison sentence during the exchange between him and Dave — nicely done.

    I think the truth about Dave’s insult was self-evident (vis-a-vis the last paragraph or so), though including it does lead up well to the “but Ronnie knew something else” ending, which impacted me the way I like the end of a flash piece to do. So I’m torn on that one.

    I hope you don’t mind me leaving some critical feedback; but isn’t that what this is all about? I enjoyed reading your story.

  3. onethemis says:

    Good job. It didn’t go where I expected it to, as with the others here. Believable characters, too. I thought a couple of the sentences could have been reworded to flow better, but that’s what edits are for right! 🙂

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